I Don’t Want Another Bloody Sweater!!!


I think it started around 4. My crazy obsession with clothing texture. Some people may prefer a particular softness in a shirt or pair of pants but I absolutely must have it.

Do you like sweaters? Good! Cause you can have them! That awful scratchy wool feels like a brillo pad against my skin.  I can’t take them off fast enough. In fact, a poorly textured article of clothing can ruin my day!

As a preschooler, I remember the satiny smooth stretch pants that I’d wear. The vernal pleasures of spring! The playground at the marina was a haven for a teacup daydreamer like me. I’d fantasize about it while trying to learn “Fere Jacques”. Of course my favorite animal print shirts ! They were usually grey with stripes and a feline in the middle. It felt great against my skin.

For the next decade, various family members tried to squeeze me into sweaters. Animal themed sweaters, holiday themed sweaters and any other awful sweater-y creation under the sun – including tights!

I whined and argued about the bloody things with my mother. Of course I was obligated to wear them especially during the winter. Year after year, conveniently forgotten, my chubby little frame was forced into a sweater made from a shivering little sheep.

When you remind everyone, to this day, that such a thing isn’t welcome yet you get them…. I still shake my head.

I cannot handle the texture. That is a very small request. Perhaps I’ll have to list the fabrics that are necessary to wrap my naked body in each day! You know, for future reference….

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